The How & the Why

The How & the Why

Book - 2019
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Cassandra McMurtrey has the best parents a girl could ask for; they've given Cass a life she wouldn't trade for the world. She has everything she needs, but she has questions, too. Like, to know who she is. Where she came from. Questions her adoptive parents can't answer, no matter how much they love her. But eighteen years ago, someone wrote Cass a series of letters. And they may just hold the answers Cass has been searching for.
Publisher: New York, NY : HarperTeen, [2019]
Edition: First edition.
ISBN: 9780062693167
Characteristics: 450 pages ; 22 cm
Alternative Title: How and the why

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samcmar17
Jan 08, 2020

Huge thank you to Harper Collins Canada for this ARC!

Cynthia Hand has a magic power: she makes me cry at the drop of a hat. The How and the Way is a book that explores adoption, family, and how we deal with the unknown. After finishing the book and reading the author's note, it's abundantly clear that this is Cynthia Hand's most personal book to date, and may be my favourite one that I've read of hers.

This book is an emotional book -- it's out to make you cry, having a million feelings, and just be an exploration experience. There is so much I didn't know about the adoption process and system, let alone the amount of trauma it can cause on both the one giving up the child and the child who years later has found the courage to look for their biological parent. Cassandra's experience of having a great adoptive family and having constant support from them was so beautiful to read about, and I appreciate the way this book handles its characters -- every single one is flawed and nuanced.

I also like the way this book is told in letters from Cassandra's biological mother and the present time. Cassandra has so much courage in this story, but I equally like that she has moments of weakness, and the process of her trying to find her mother organically unfolds. Everything about this book is slow and thoughtful.

I devoured the book in four days on my lunch breaks and I always felt sad when I had to put it down because Hand gives you just enough at the end of each chapter to make you want to keep reading. This book is emotional for sure, and is definitely for fans of Robin Benway's Far From the Tree.

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darladoodles
Oct 24, 2019

Get out your tissues! This heartwarming saga explores adoption from both sides. Cassandra turns eighteen and begins a search for her birth mother. Simultaneously we read the letters her birth mother was writing while she was pregnant. I kept imagining Ellen Page from "Juno" when I was reading the letters. Simply lovely and such an affirmation of life.

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